some from dookie-cigar. (www.dookie-cigar.blogspot.com)

Oswalt wins: 23
Berkman HR: 46
Lee HR: 38
Pence HR: 22
Pence call-up date: May 4
Nieve call-up date: May 14
Albers call-up date: May 14
First player sent down/released: Moehler
First to homer: Biggio
First player to cry even though he plays a game for a living: Bruntlett
How many times Jennings misjudges a turn and knocks over a row of bats with his ass: 7
Lowest ERA (SP): Oswalt
Highest ERA (SP): Wandy
Lowest ERA (RP): Miller
Highest ERA (RP): Lidge
Date of first trade: June 4
Player(s) traded: Lidge, Lane
Everett batting average: .270
Loretta batting average: .270
Ensberg HR: 35
Cubs Record: 72-90
Astros Record: 90-72
% chance we add Rick White to Queelerdge: 55%
resulting nickname: Rick Queelerdge
% chance we call Scott by his nickname: 40%
% chance Jennings earns a new, more respectful nickname: 65%
% chance Ausmus earns a new, more respectful nickname: 2%
% chance of lefty-on-lefty: 100%
% chance I catch a ball at an Astros game: 35%
Different lineups Garner will use: 158
Loretta starts: 60
HR given up by Lil Bitch: 28
% chance that I will mix up Woody and Miller: 75%
% chance of "Major League" quotage per game: 25%
% chance that Rick White changes his name to Ricky Vaughn, rides a hog onto the field and becomes our new closer: 80%